Revenge.

Revenge.
Revenge takes purpose out of suffering. It only travels in reverse. It gets you no where.
There is always reward through suffering. Some do not endure the suffering, and by trying to escape it, may lose their reward, yet they still served a purpose because others are affected by that suffering.

If someone were to be caused great hardship, and upon leaving the suffering is given a great reward, they may either-
1. take the reward, and benefit others
or
2. use their reward to quench their vengeance against those who did them wrong.

But what a waste! What a waste of life, of suffering, and of a reward! This person has been wronged, but then by using the gifts which came out of their suffering, to get their revenge on their wrongdoers- what has been accomplished? For someone's sole purpose in life to be to hurt those who hurt them..."an eye for an eye"...what has changed? We all still have an eye- except now we've all been wounded, and our eyes- mine in your hand, and yours in mine- serve no purpose since they aren't in our sockets...but, oh sure- we're "even."

A man, betrayed and unjustly imprisoned, upon escape is blessed with unfathomable wealth. Instead of taking this wealth, giving back in gratitude towards those who did good to him (which he does to a degree), sharing it with those he loved, and focusing on assisting others less fortunate (such as he once was, dying in prison), he uses it to take revenge on those who betrayed him. With this wealth given by providence, he wants only to play providence. He spends majority of his after-escaped life and fortune dealing out his vengeance. Once all who had in his eyes destroyed him had been destroyed BY him, what has he achieved? What is left? What purpose does he have? If these people had never betrayed him- yes he would not have suffered as he did- but even more he would not have received the wealth and power which he did. His betrayers were not only responsible for his suffering, but for his wealth. He then takes that wealth to unleash his revenge against them, claiming that only death can stop him from this. If these people had not done wrong to him, the ill-fortune caused by the man's revenge would not have happened to them.
He does not succeed in triumph, but only allows his life to be ended and wasted by these actions of theirs.
A person thirsting for revenge allows himself to be conquered by those who did wrong to him. They do not live their life, but focus and remain on this hurt. They are given a gift and purpose through their suffering, but they then choose to spend it on those who caused them to suffer.

(I'm referring to a book...you get a cookie if you know to which one I am referring.)
And oh yes. Hello there. Long time no post.

Natural Law/Morality, C.S. Lewis, Blame...

I've been reading some works masterpieces of C.S. Lewis (yes, he did write more than Narnia...really hoping you knew that...) for religion class, and am just...loving it.

Below are some thoughts and reflections which came to my head (and therefore in pen to margins and empty spaces in between his insights) while reading Right and Wrong as a Clue to The Meaning of The Universe [Book I, from The Case for Christianity of Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis].

Here is a link to the book: http://usminc.org/images/MereChristianitybyCSLewis.pdf

Once on the pdf, click the link to "Book I. Right and Wrong..." OR put "11" in the page box on the top bar, next to the two blue arrows.
It may seem like a lot to read, but I promise you, it isn't. You only really need read the first chapter, page 11 to 13. But I HIGHLY recommend reading to the end of Chapter 4 (page 21). (I'm not focusing on chapter 5, though by all means feel free to keep reading).
GO READ.

Do I really think you'll click the link and read it? Am I just going to assume you didn't and give an explanation as I go? no. [at least I am going to try not to.] Why? because I want you to read it!! I absolutely "couldn't say it better myself" than C.S. Lewis (of course)...and even if I gave you a summary of what he was saying, it would give it no justice and you would miss sooo much.
I DARE YOU. For once- don't click the little 'x', don't minimize, don't 'favorite' for later...go make some tea, and read it. [hey, you don't even have to search for it, or get it from your library- it's ALL RIGHT THERE!]

I will be writing this assuming that you HAVE read it.
As proof, I'd be ecstatic to find some comments and/or discussion regarding this, in the comments section. Not only because I often wonder if my audience is imaginary...or just those Russians and Germans who always come up in my stats (if you Russians are really reading this: Вы удивительным. пойти съесть печенье. Germans: Sie sind genial. essen ein Stück Kuchen. To my new French friends: vous aussi êtes génial. aller manger un témoin. and to my homeschool friends: te stupenda es. Nescio quomodo dicere "cookie" in latinae. Sed bonum cibum edi.)
[^got distracted there...i admit it]
So please go read it and start/join some conversation...I'm missing The Big Bang Theory re-runs to write this!
----

Everybody wants to be "good" or more so "decent" (with the exception of your average phsycopath-criminal). This decency is driven by a vast variety of motivations over the  diversity of individual characters. For many it is to be liked, accepted, to earn respect/job/money, and for some it is to please God.

We can't stand being accused of being "bad" or "wrong" and we try to justify our actions if ever challenged on their 'decency' or 'correctness.'

Now, the Natural Law -or standard which everyone tries to meet, point out when others' actions do not meet, and justify why some questionable actions do meet- is no longer a definite line between black and white. The two are getting incredibly smudged, and the gray area is becoming larger and larger.

I picture this as a wooden table with a deep, straight line carved right down the middle. On one half of the line, the table is covered in black sand. On the other half of the line, the table is covered in white sand. Some people and actions begin to cross the line, dragging their feet in the sand as they cross. Some on the white side may drag into the black, which confuses both sides, and all the sudden they are pushing and shoving where behaviors lie on the entire table [either picture a ginormous table, or little army-figure-sized people]. The definite carved line still exist, but no one can clearly see the line since it is all covered with the gray sand, caused by the confusion between where each grain of black sand and each grain of white sand belongs.
[That is the analogy that comes to my mind, though I know there are probably 100 easier and better ways to visualize it... if you have one- share your analogy in the comments! ...not that i'm, uhh, desperate for comments or anything...*cough*
No, but seriously, I am really interested in other analogies for this.]

SO. Most aim to stay within and keep this Natural Law, whether or not they consciously acknowledge its existence.
But none of us truly keep it. We all, of course, get lost in all the gray, and sometimes even deliberately step into that black. But when we do, we are so quick to make excuses as to why we broke that line of Natural Law, or why under certain circumstances we weren't really breaking the line...

If something gos wrong, its because of the weather, lack of sleep, so-and-so was late, couldn't find your shoes...

But if something goes right- we don't "blame" others (well, sometimes we thank others and give them credit, but I'm guessing for most of us...majority of the time we don't think of it) we simply take the glory for it.

And when we can't blame another human being, who do we blame? We blame God (again, I'm using 'we' in a general sense...if you make a conscience effort not to- *high-five*) So many people claim they don't believe in God until- cancer, death, poverty, bad grades, break-up, job loss...
Now...where was God? Why did He do this to me? [see suffering.]

But when something goes well, it's "only because of my hard work" and "who needs God, I can handle this on my own."

And how about the times we don't even know about? Perhaps God didn't let something happen. Perhaps in your rush to get to that doctor's appointment (you know, because you couldn't find your keys, and traffic was just horrendous...) God deflected that car you cut off (well...he wasn't paying attention...the light was green) ...but how would you know? It's like the story of the little boy learning to walk with his father. The father saw some stones his young son would trip on, and so he -able to see farther (and further) down the path than his son- walked a little farther and moved them.
Does the father say, "Oh, look what I did! I moved those stones. You would have tripped and fallen if I hadn't." No. He just quietly moves them.

But we ask- what about the times he didn't move the stones? Jesus fell three times. [<LazyBloggerMe: not going to expand on that. mentioning Jesus should be sufficient for you to chew on. expand yourself.]

Perhaps the Father saw further down the road, something far worse than the stone you tripped on, or a struggle you endured. Perhaps while you endured that struggle, or frustration, or traffic...you were being delayed and kept safe from something else. Such as the man who was very late for work one day, stuck in horrible traffic, sirens going all around, questioning why God let him be so late...only to see the sky be swallowed by thick black clouds, and realize that the tower his office was in- was collapsing to the ground. That September morning, he rushed just like any other late morning...

But most times, we don't see what God protected us from. He doesn't point it out to us. He just quietly protects us from it, while we accuse Him for leaving us, and have the audacity to tell him our little stones and delays are pointless.

Suffering

Sooo...I really wanted to post on Friday about suffering, but by the time we went to church, watched The Passion as a family, I was really tired and went to be early. I had so much I wanted to write about on Good Friday...walking through His passion starting at the garden, and reflecting in each step...but I guess I'll just focus on suffering altogether [then again...I know I have notes somewhere on suffering as well...] and either write the post or save it for next Good Friday (if I'm still blogging, which I hope I will =).

-Oh but first I want to make a follow up to Thursday's washing of the feet.

9“Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!” 10Jesus answered, “A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” 11For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.

There was an unclean man who did shortly after receive a bath of not only his feet, but his head, hands, entire body and soul.
 The guard who pierced Jesus's side...was showered in the blood and water of our Savior.

34One of the soldiers, however, pierced his side with a spear, and immediately blood and water flowed out. . . 36These things happened in fulfillment of the Scriptures that say, “Not one of his bones will be broken,”i 37and “They will look on the one they pierced.”j -John 19:34-37

"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the heart of Jesus as a fount of mercy for us...Jesus, I trust in You."

Suffering

So I guess I'll just start by writing what usually comes to mind when I think of suffering. Suffering has a purpose. So many times we suffer and think, "Really God? What's the point in this? Why do I have to suffer and struggle with this?" and we become so focus on our selves, and our pain. But have you ever prayed through suffering? I don't mean only praying as you suffer, but using your suffering as a prayer. Perhaps the next time you're inclined to complain about a situation, think, "I'll do this joyfully, so that my one friend may come to know God better." Or perhaps while exercising, "I'll do five more of this exercise to pray for all the innocent lives scheduled to be killed today, for their mothers and families, and for the ones doing the procedure. Or maybe while being tempted by food, or any temptation, "I won't fall under this temptation, to pray for all those with power and leadership positions, that they may lead those under them morally and justly, guiding them to You, God." Or simply do any of the actions as a prayer of love and thanksgiving to God. Even suffering through a headache or any physical, mental or spiritual pain; if we can endure it not for ourselves, but for a certain person, prayer, or simply as an act of love to God, it gives it so much more purpose as well as takes our focus off of ourselves and the pain, and onto someone else, for a much greater purpose.

Think about the greatest suffering ever. The most agonizing torture to any man, was not in the least bit purposeless. In fact, that Suffering, gave us Salvation. And all through that Suffering...that Man did not think of Himself. He did it for us. And the hardest part is...we're the ones who put Him there. We've betrayed Him. We've denied Him. We've whipped, scourged, and gouged into him. We've spat on Him. We've pressed and pierced His head with thorns. We've caused Him to stagger. We've hammered nails into His hands onto a cross. We've killed Him. And He has endured it- for us.

That grave suffering was the most horrible, painful, gruesome, wonderful, loving, beautiful...and above all- most purposeful...than any other.
Whatever we are going through- no matter how difficult and painful- cannot even begin to measure what our Savior endured for us. Let us then find purpose in our own suffering, and endure it for Him.